THE GREATEST POEMS OF ALL by Jeff Callaway (Texas Outlaw Poet)

the greatest poems

are never written down

but lonely and forgotten

before a pen can be found

the greatest poems never find the ink

in the time it takes you to think

slowly with time they fade

and face the guillotine

of jilted poems and unrequited lovers

or glued to my own vague memory

of what could’ve been

if only i’d had a pen

and the recollection to keep repeating

what it was i was trying to say…


the greatest poems are girls who pour Dewar’s on the rocks

down their breasts with a splash of water

as i drink it off…


the greatest poems lick the ink from the tip of my idea…


the greatest poems of all

get drunk from the bottle

straight no chaser

no requiem for a dream

no teen queen Chinese angels on the silver screen

no Hollywood Homecoming Queens

leaping side to side in ecstasy

or just beautiful girls who once gave me their phone numbers

or girls back in high school who kissed me

and later became strippers

midnight sirens to madness

mad drunker bar room brawls

bras, panties, imported beer…


the greatest poems of all

who put my drinks on their tab

and heavenly broads who brought me elixirs

which i did drink down into myself

the likes of absinthe sugar laudanum

or i read the Rhyme Of The Ancient Mariner

mad at midnight

typing poems furiously

towards glory or mayhem or maybe

for nothing at all

or maybe just for

the greatest poems of all…


so here here to the greatest poems of all…


to bikini contests

to Bikini Kill

to Bukowski

to Rimbaud and other roughnecks

to the wet t-shirts at Cedar Isle

and to the Cedar Creek Lake rememberers

who still remember all

of the greatest poems of all…


to Siberian Huskies named Marley

who lived in Dallas, Texas with Dirty Phil

and to Dirty Phil

to pain and pills and poems

to words that slide into lyrical oblivion

sometimes these can be the greatest poems of all times

dare i say the better poems that can rise

from poets here today

like drunken ramblings

drunken one nighters

far beyond driven drunk drivers and Dracula

no more drama

but more hot actresses

sexy angel poetess



to the Texas Outlaw Press

and to all of the greatest poems of all…


to Polly to Pam to the paranormal…


to the ghosts of the greatest poems of all…


to the ghouls

to the Grim Reaper

to death

and it’s poetic casting call to us all…


i’d like to give a shout out

to the gangsters of the ghettos of Grand Prairie

to the hypodermic hipsters of Plano

who never made it

never got to hear the greatest poems of all…


to poems that got kicked out of Magnolia

for chunking saltshakers

fat jokes

plastic chairs

who never sweat the petty shit but always pet the sweaty shit

from shinola to shangri-la

from 26th and San Gabriel

to the angel Gabriel

from trumpets to cherubim…


to these crazy insane hot American chicks

who love poets, poems and palm pilots…


to an Austin Poetry Renaissance or to purgatory…


how ’bout another round of drinks

to the greatest poets

and poems of all…

© Jeff Callaway 2005

Click here to buy PARTY FOULS & OTHER ATROCITIES by Jeff Callaway!



  1. A…peck of pickled poems
    Baked in the brine…
    Simmering for hours–
    Add some moonshine,
    When the brine has soaked up
    Time for publishing—
    Great stuff to be served up
    To folks by your blogging!

    –Jonathan Caswell–fellow poet 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.