HELEN by Jeff Callaway (Texas Outlaw Poet)

HELEN by Jeff Callaway 

Helen
was the most beautiful woman
on Cedar Creak Lake
and she made my heartache
when i thought of all the slow and tender love
that her and i could make
and the lifetimes i would like to take
to make it in
my Helen who was heaven-sent
an angel who fell to the earth
(and took up residence)
to show to me what true love meant
and with a little persistence
i had her convinced
to go out with me on our first date
and it was then when we found
this true love was our fate
and that as lovers
we were both first rate
and that we shared that sacred bond
my Helen was a good good blonde
Goddess on the pedestal i put her upon
juicy and delicious
Aphrodite was an apple
with no clothes on
my guilty pleasure just to look upon
her long long legs that
(for days) just went on and on
and on with satin skin of bronze
or in her Janis Joplin tee
with the knees of her jeans gone
my Helen made me feel like a rock-n-roll song
and made a bonfire in her bed
to burn all night long
(for me) and from that moment on
it was on…

but then soon
i would be
too far gone
back then
back in the days
i was doing myself wrong
i bang my gong
an anonymous automaton
with syringes for arms
almost too weak to go on upon
my crucifix needle so forlorn
track marks to adorn
a soul now born to scorn
BUT SHE LOVED ME ANYWAY
her love was UNCONDITIONAL
she loved me in her very own special way
and so one day (she looked up to me) and so
she looked right at me just to say
that she would like to try it too
and that she would pay
and from my dead broke tragic abyss
(i said okay) and with just one kiss
sealed our fate
and that was the very day
that she became my dark lady…

and she was my shady lady
and when i look back now
my regret is raging and it plagues me
and there is nothing i can say
i can only blame me
nothing can save me
i can only hate me
for all of the bitter memories
for all of her lost dreams to dependency
a license to ill to infinity
for those five doomed years of crazy
that she stayed with me
fighting to breathe in our habitual Hades
shooting COCAINE and HEROIN
and METHAMPHETAMINES
as i watched my life
and my love
go down in flames with me
drowning in a chemical sea
where the devil’s tongue is waves of sex and drugs
and death and love is licking me
this junky’s life isn’t easy
believe me
you reap when you plant the seed
but in Helen i harvested
a hellishly haunted dream
one blackened bad bad memory
of that macabre night that i will always remember
of that cold gray gothic night in early December
the needle still hung in her arm that had once held me close
i found her lying there dead in our bed
blue with an overdose.

© Jeff Callaway

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