Texas Outlaw Press presents HELEN a  Poemfilm by Jeff Callaway based on his poem of the same name dealing with the horrors of addiction and the heartache of tragic love. All words and acting done by Jeff Callaway. Music by Trancecrafter. http://www.texasoutlawpoet.com

Resources for Drug Addiction Help:
The Central Texas Area Narcotics Anonymous 603 West 13th Street Suite 1A-284 Austin, Texas 78701 http://www.ctana.org/
Austin: 512-480-0004 En Español: 512-480-0007 Toll Free: 866-79-CTANA
Lone Star Region of Narcotics Anonymous (Dallas/East Texas) http://www.lsrna.com/index.html
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For Musicians:
Musicares-South Region 1904 Wedgewood Ave. Nashville, TN 37212 Ph: 615.327.0050 Toll-free Help Line: 1.877.626.2748
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HELEN by Jeff Callaway

Helen

was the most beautiful woman

on Cedar Creak Lake

and she made my heartache

when i thought of all the slow and tender love

that her and i could make

and the lifetimes i would like to take

to make it in

my Helen who was heaven-sent

an angel who fell to the earth

(and took up residence)

to show to me what true love meant

and with a little persistence

i had her convinced

to go out with me on our first date

and it was then when we found

this true love was our fate

and that as lovers

we were both first rate

and that we shared that sacred bond

my Helen was a good good blonde

Goddess on the pedestal i put her upon

juicy and delicious

Aphrodite was an apple

with no clothes on

my guilty pleasure just to look upon

her long long legs that

(for days) just went on and on

and on with satin skin of bronze

or in her Janis Joplin tee

with the knees of her jeans gone

my Helen made me feel like a rock-n-roll song

and made a bonfire in her bed

to burn all night long

(for me) and from that moment on

it was on…

 

but then soon

i would be

too far gone

back then

back in the days

i was doing myself wrong

i bang my gong

an anonymous automaton

with syringes for arms

almost too weak to go on upon

my crucifix needle so forlorn

track marks to adorn

a soul now born to scorn

BUT SHE LOVED ME ANYWAY

her love was UNCONDITIONAL

she loved me in her very own special way

and so one day (she looked up to me) and so

she looked right at me just to say

that she would like to try it too

and that she would pay

and from my dead broke tragic abyss

(i said okay) and with just one kiss

sealed our fate

and that was the very day

that she became my dark lady…

 

and she was my shady lady

and when i look back now

my regret is raging and it plagues me

and there is nothing i can say

i can only blame me

nothing can save me

i can only hate me

for all of the bitter memories

for all of her lost dreams to dependency

a license to ill to infinity

for those five doomed years of crazy

that she stayed with me

fighting to breathe in our habitual Hades

shooting COCAINE and HEROIN

and METHAMPHETAMINES

as i watched my life

and my love

go down in flames with me

drowning in a chemical sea

where the devil’s tongue is waves of sex and drugs

and death and love is licking me

this junky’s life isn’t easy

believe me

you reap when you plant the seed

but in Helen i harvested

a hellishly haunted dream

one blackened bad bad memory

of that macabre night that i will always remember

of that cold gray gothic night in early December

the needle still hung in her arm that had once held me close

i found her lying there dead in our bed

blue with an overdose.

© Jeff Callaway